Alright friends… I am not one to tell you to leave your significant other, but if these things start happening…maybe it is a good time to re asses who you want to spend your “forever” with. These 5 signs are not-so-recognized by the naked eye, due to both sides giving excuses for these behaviors.
No, I am not talking about this middle school puppy love. I’m reaching out to the 20-something year old men and women in the back, with promise rings and big dreams. Family plans and monogrammed fleece sweaters. Christmas cards sent to the folks. Is what is happening behind closed doors real love, or do you fear being alone? Stick with me here as I help you pick some signs that maybe your Zodiac match or your Swipe Right on Tinder may not be the one…
- Your significant other pushes you down, or questions your goals.
Alright folks, here’s a big one. If your S/O does not stand by you, and motivate you to do good and follow your dreams… need I say more? Sure, we are independent people who love to own our accomplishments- but do you feel the same way after your work is discredited? Your profession is belittled? Your craft put to shame?
2. Your S/O puts their desires and feelings before yours.
Lets be real. We are old enough to know that personal feelings come before Xbox, and before the Monday night Football game. If your S/O is unwilling to talk to you about what is bothering you, and may push your feelings for “after the game”, are you willing to stay with someone emotionally detached? Friends are great and they add an extra drop of sunshine to our lives, helping us in our darkest times, but what is a stable relationship without being able to talk to your most intimate companion?
3. He/She downplays your emotions.
It is 2017. The age of millennials, technology and advanced psychology. So my friends, if you disclose with your S/O you are suffering with Depression, or Anxiety and you are told to get over it…please love yourself first. If there is anyone in this world who tells you your feelings do not matter, they are not the one for you. In your hardest times your S/O is supposed to be the one who picks you up when you are down, and who sticks with you until you come back up. Love is not just when you are happy and smiling. Love is the good, bad, extremely sad and “I’m Mad”. (you’ve probably seen a post like this on relationship Tumblr, oh well. Here it is again. Love yourselves, because nobody’s going to love you, like you do).
4. Jealousy…the controlling type.
This goes out to my beautiful ladies living their best lives. You just made a post on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. Your hair is done, face is beat, and that dress fits you in all of the right places. So those comments pour in quicker than those shots you’re going to take at the bar on a Girls Night Out. Well, your boyfriend doesn’t like the attention you’re receiving. Suddenly, you’re no longer wearing that dress. Whether it “made you look fat” or “you’re not going out like that” you are no longer joining the girls. So you throw on those sweatpants and do what your man wanted to do… because you love him.
(Disclaimer: Not everyone is like this, I am simply sharing events I have witnessed and experienced, and to share warning signs of a not so loving relationship).
5. Your S/O acts out publicly to get a reaction.
Just because you two get into an argument, does not mean either of you can react spitefully. Ladies, lets stop with the sub-tweeting and the “girl, what he do” posts because we all know that makes the situation sticky. Fellas, if you think this is a good time to take beer bongs with the boys in your frat best friends backyard…you’re wrong. In our generation our relationships seem to thrive off of social media. If you are not constantly watching what the other is doing, they have to be cheating. Right? Watch how their actions unfold after a disagreement, people’s true colors show when not everything glitters.
Thank you so much for taking your time to read, and maybe take a couple espresso shots like I did while brainstorming this post. I wish for you to love the love who loves you back.