I was sitting in the doctors office today, and I was thinking about all of the great things my close friends are up to. (weird place to think about your friends lives, I know). I have friends moving to different states, countries, getting hitched and starting businesses-and I feel stuck.
“It’s just not your time” “It will happen eventually” “You’re still young” are the common responses I get when I feel this way. But, who am I to listen to anyone…right. I am the first person to hear advice from hundreds of people, but the last person to actually use said advice.
I wish I could live my life like the risk-taking friends I have. Taking each day at a time, spontaneous plans and never knowing where tomorrow will take them. Myself on the other hand, always needs a plan. My life has been planned out for me since I was chilling in the womb, and growing up I always have felt like I am trying so hard to fit in this desired mold that everyone expected me to fill. There is not a single day that goes by where I don’t have 25 sticky notes and 3 planners reminding me of things I need to get done, day by day. All Hell breaks lose if I fit an unscheduled plan in my day- a literal catastrophe in my mind if something goes unplanned, or if I haven’t completed my list.
I also have the need to plan 5 years ahead of where I am, which some people tell me is the cause for my stress and feeling overwhelmed. What I can’t seem to shake, is the fact I am so young, and this is my time for making mistakes, yet I don’t want to step out of my comfort zone. I fear trying new things, or making those mistakes. It has been drilled into my head that one life lesson will screw up my entire life. I don’t take those chances like I have nothing to lose.
For all my friends that feel as time restricted, and plan oriented as I am- you’re not alone. Just because we don’t grocery shop today, doesn’t mean the produce won’t be there tomorrow. If we put aside an errand to hang out with a good friend, we can always revisit those errands tomorrow.
So for the next 30 days I will be testing myself. All pens and planners and note sections of my phone stored away for a period of growth, and self development.
This post was in response to the Daily Word:
Achieving a more carefree lifestyle.
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